This guest post was written by a friend who blogs at Partially Complex about her experiences coping with Partially Complex Epilepsy and her journey to have a baby.
The holidays can be particularly hard for a person who wants a baby, but doesn’t have one. While they love their young nieces, nephews and/or friends’ children as if they were their own, attending holiday gatherings with family and friends can be a constant reminder of what they don’t have. Whenever someone asks me what I want for Christmas this year, the one thing I want is the one thing I never say, “A baby.”
I know my friends and family means well when they nonchalantly say, “You’re a natural,” as I hold my two-year old nephew. I know they mean well when they ask, “When are you guys looking to have a family? The only thing missing from your home is a baby.” Or when my husband’s crazy uncle that never visits, saunters in to our home, saying, “Where are the rugrats?” and then, winks at me. They don’t realize how much those questions can hurt. It feels like it is being thrown in my face that I don’t have child, and yet, my brother’s wife is pregnant with their second.
I’m currently in the process of changing my antiepileptic medication to something that will be safer for our future child during pregnancy. The current medication I’m on can cause major malformations. We have been given strict orders to not attempt to conceive until the medication has been fully switched over and it is proven that my body is taking to it. My doctor said this process should take about six months – and we are currently in the second month. It won’t be until May 2013 that we get the go-ahead to start a family. First, we need to wean the dosage of the new medication up to a therapeutic level (meaning, my body absorbs it). Then, we will wean my dosage down from the medication I’m currently on. It feels like it is dragging on forever.
I know in the end, I am doing what is best for me and our future children. One day, something magical will happen and we will have the family we always wanted. It is just going to take more time for us than with most people.
If you take anything from my post this month, take this: Please remember to be kind this holiday season. If you have friends that are married and without children, please just skip the questions of future children altogether. You never know what a person could be going through, what their true thoughts are on having a family – or how badly they truly want something. Everybody is different and everything happens when it’s supposed to.
